Explain like I'm five · Security

What is Ransomware?

Ransomware, told as a story about a thief who locks every chest in the castle and charges for the key.

BooksMailLedgersPhotosStoragethe castle runs on opening them every day

Every room in the castle has a chest.Books, mail, ledgers, photos. The castle runs on opening them every day.

BooksMailLedgersPhotosStorageWant the key?100 gold coinswithin 3 daysnothing is taken — it's all locked

The thief puts his own lock on every chest.Nothing is taken — it's all locked. Only the thief has the key.

Want the key?100 gold coinswithin 3 daysthe castle has stoppedonly the thief has the keycopies get stolen toopaying doesn't guarantee the key comes back

Ransomware locks your things and charges for the key.The castle stops. Paying doesn't guarantee a key. These days they steal a copy before locking, too.

The locka seal only the thief opens — encryption
The notethe gold is cryptocurrency
The way ina fake letter, the tunnel mouth, an open door
Copies stolen too'pay, or we publish'
a copy every daythe hallway splitthe spare depot, far awayWOOF!bites the hand that locksthe key? not needed

Spare chests far away, and the key doesn't matter.Copy everything to a depot far away, every day. Split the hallway so the thief can't reach it, and let the dog bite the hand that locks.

100 gold?no key comes, or only half openseven the spare depotconnected to the castle, it gets locked tooso keep it apart, and test that it opens

Paying doesn't guarantee the key.The key may never come, or open only half. A spare depot still connected to the castle gets locked too — so keep it apart, and test that it opens.

In one breath

Ransomware = a thief puts his own lock on every chest and charges for the key. Nothing is stolen; everything is unusable. The real defense is spare chests far away.

WannaCry stopped hospitals and factories in 2017. Backups follow 3-2-1: three copies, two kinds of media, one far away. And test that they open.

When grown-ups say it

Encryption
The thief's lock. The same trick as the seal — but the thief holds the key.
Ransom note
The note. So much gold (crypto) within so many days. Late, and the price rises.
Initial access
The way in. A fake letter, the tunnel mouth, an open door. Cheapest to stop here.
Lateral movement
Locks from room to room. Why it never stops at one chest. → the hallway watcher
Double extortion
Steal a copy and threaten to publish. The trick that makes you pay even when you have spares.
3-2-1 backup
Three spare chests. Three copies, two kinds of media, one far away.
Offline · immutable backup
The depot the thief can't reach. Kept apart from the castle, or locked so nobody can change it.
Restore drill
Testing that it opens. Having a spare and being able to open it are two different things.
Next story
The Letter from a Fake Post Office →
Want another term as a picture book? Request →